June 2007
52 posts
“Now you can bring that girl home and fornicate with her!”
May 2007
51 posts
Dugg
This afternoon, I threw together a quick video from the Nobody Likes Onions comedy show that I shot last weekend. Talkers During A Comedy Show from Patrick Melton on Vimeo Imagine my surprise when I got home from school this evening, and found out it had made the front page of digg. Patrick kicked ass with those whores, and I’m proud to have another viral video under my belt.
“We’re working on the best iPod ever and it’s awesome.”
– Steve Jobs, on the long awaited 6G iPod.
WatchVimeo / Life of BK 4: Breakfast
I Am Your Hero.
Tonight was a lonely night. I was driving in my nearly 190,000-mile old car. I had nothing to do tonight, nobody to see. I drove aimlessly around Aventura, looking for anything to grant me amusement, and grant me distraction from the dark dark voices in my head. I pulled into the parking lot of a Krispe Kreme, and watched the neighbor kids as they gathered around the blinking neon lights. They...
“I want to start a new trend where if you see a white person on a payphone, you...”
– Ricky via obeastiality.
A Conversation With a New Driver
Lucas: I still think driving is scary and fun
me: so do I
Lucas: It's like a roller coaster that I can kill people with
: o
Best Cursor Ever. →
They pulled it off so well.
Mother: Tell your BFF Jill that I'm taking away your phone.
Daughter: TISNF!
Mother: Me paying this bill, that's what's S.. N.. F.
WatchSouth Florida is fucked up. I was digging though my old tapes, and I found a video of this man’s proudest moment. If only he were alive to see it*. *educated assumption.
Unfffff!
Knights of Cydonia was confirmed for Guitar Hero 3. I came.
“For me the sweetest moment came in New York when a woman came up to me in a...”
– Alanis Morissette
Damn, this is scary.
“For as long as I can remember, whenever I get close to orgasming my left ball retracts into my body. Lately however it has been retracting further and further, and I actually have to relax and push it back out to get it back to its original position. While before I have only needed to relax and it would come out by itself.” :o (Source)
Hope vs. Desperation
I keep having dreams about rigging elevators to blast out of their shafts, and go flying into the stratosphere. I’ve been having them for months. Usually I have some kind of explosive that I stuff into a corner of the elevator, then it blows up on the top floor, sending me off into the sky. Last night’s flight was particularly strange because there was a small child in the elevator...
“He got over the moat, which in itself is remarkable, because gorillas...”
– One fucking brilliant zookeeper.
flickrvision →
Watch people upload to Flickr in real time. This is awesome.
Hurrrrrr
First all the morning DJ’s are being fired, and now this. I’m getting really sick of the government turning America into a country of drooling idiots who don’t have to think for themselves. I’m glad I only have 60-70 years left on this earth, because at this rate, it feels like things are going to get really fucked up.
WatchThe farmer who gave the sheep the mask is an asshole.
““Gary, let me ask you a question: Do you have kids?”...”
“There were some people laughing through most of the movie, but I’m pretty...”
– liquorhead on Shrek the Third
Two Robots
J: Do you believe in God?
A: Of course I believe in God.
J: Why do you believe in God?
A: The Bible tells us to believe in God.
J: That’s circular reasoning.
A: I’m glad we have that all cleared up.
J: Yes. Would you like to hear a joke?
A: Sure, tell me about it.
J: Why don’t blind people skydive?
A: Perhaps it is impossible.
J: I think you lie a lot.
“it’s like… similar to other social networking/blogging type sits but...”
– duplo, talking to dalas about tumblr
Cartoons are filthy.
Teacher: Yakko, can you conjugate?
Yakko: Gee, I've never even kissed a girl.
Teacher: No no no, I want you to Conjugate with me.
Yakko: Goodnight everybody!
Marmaduke Explained →
CommissarRed: One time in class, we were discussing a deaf rights rally... I asked if it would sound like a horde of zombies.
Tomato Soup (a deaf man): It probably would!
CommissarRed: I got kicked from the class :/
“Eso no va a resultar en sexo”
“I want to try everything once …well, not crack. ”
– Shea
Fuck my blog, go here. →
“You’re fabulous… FABULOUS! Just put down the camera and take off...”
– Gay man on a cruise ship
Elevator
woman: You were running the camera? Wow, I thought it riding on something that moves.
me: Yes, I was the thing.
Waverunning
Wow, I did not expect them to kick my ass that hard.
24 hours later
I’m on the ship. It can hold 6,000ish passengers, but there are only 1,400 on board. Apperantly they all went to bed at 12:30, as the decks and clubs are dead. Looking away from the ship is the purest darkness I’ve seen in a long time. No lights, no horizon. Upon seeing it, my first thoughts were “I wonder if this is the view from purgatory” Different view, same brain,...
bkinng@mac.com: this girl doesn't understand what the internet is
bkinng@mac.com: it's shit linked to shit
Jacob: seriously
Jacob: lollllll "shit linked to shit." good description of the internets”
WatchWhat the hell happened to make me move away from the puppydogs and pancakes?
WatchI had a nice life, now I don’t.
How I came to be Voracious:
bkinng: I need a good word from you
bkinng: it's like "compulsively," but moreso
bkinng: like, I'll die if I don't do this thing
pgururosewall: hows that
pgururosewall: does it mean compulsively or does it sound like
bkinng: means it
bkinng: like how if sharks stop swimming, they die
bkinng: they are "(wordingly) swimming"
pgururosewall: voraciously
pgururosewall: ?
bkinng: voraciously kicks ass